"When You're Near Me I Have Difficulty" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared on the 1979 album Drums and Wires.
A BBC recording appeared on the 1998 Transistor Blast box set.
An unused single version appeared on the 2002 Coat of Many Cupboards box set.
Quotes[]
Andy (on the unused single version): “A bit more in tune than the D+W cut with better skank per square inch. Hey daddyo, dig that crazy ending. But would it have made a hit single? Not as long as I've got a hole in my arse.”
Lyrics[]
When you're near me I have difficulty respirating
When you're near me I have difficulty concentrating
When you're near me I have difficulty standing upright
When you're near me I have difficulty sleeping at night
I used to stand proud like a sphinx
In a noble immovable state
Then your heart nailed me under a jinx
Now I'm feeling like a jellyfish
Just a spineless wobbly jellyfish
And it's great, great, so great
When you're near me I have difficulty respirating
When you're near me I have difficulty concentrating
When you're near me I have difficulty standing upright
When you're near me I have difficulty sleeping at night
I used to stand high like a pine
Just a piece of emotionless wood
When you put your body near mine
Now I'm feeling like a jellyfish
Just a spineless wobbly jellyfish
And it's good, good, so good
I used to be an iceman
Living in iceman town
So I'm warning all you cool cool icemen
You'd better be prepared to be melted right down
down
When you're near me I have difficulty